How do you feel when I state:
“You are fully responsible for all of your feelings and emotions.”?
It can come as a bit of a shock to many people – I’ve seen plenty of resistance come up regarding this belief… as they may be feeling victim to their current life circumstances – yet it is true. No matter how hard and unfair your circumstances are, you are still responsible for how you react to any given situation. You always have a choice. You may think that sounds a little harsh or even impossible, yet given time living with this mindset is incredibly empowering.
When you know you have full control of how you feel and how you choose to react, you may suddenly find yourself feeling invincible.
Dealing with your emotions and feelings is really about going deeper and living life with the intention to be your personal best. If you have this intention then you will notice all the signs life gives you, seeing them as opportunities to become more self-aware.
You see, not everyone reacts to any given situation in the exact same way. We all react out of our conditioning and our life experiences to date – the pain and beliefs we have gathered along our journey.
Every time we are triggered by another person or a situation we are given an opportunity to heal something deep within us.
Do you want to feel ‘good’ more of the time?
Then start realising that if you “react”, it’s your “stuff”, if “they” react, it’s their “stuff”. If you laugh out loud that is your inner happiness and glee shining though. If you get angry or jealous or any other not so good feeling, this is your body showing you what you need to heal.
There are many closed minded people in the world who always like to point the finger… as if they are the one and only “perfect” human on the planet, unwilling to see their role in a confrontation or situation. However, it’s important to remember everyone is doing their best with the communication information they currently hold… and if you can have compassion for them and focus on dealing with your own stuff… the world would be a lot happier.
By stopping to consider another or to reflect on where your emotion is coming from, you can actually dissolve deep pain of the past. It’s actually kinda magical.
I can tell you this because I’m a child (and adult too) who was labelled “too sensitive and too emotional”. Yes, I do feel deeply and intensely – I feel passion, I feel heartache, I feel extreme excitement and I feel extreme disappointment… guess why? I am human.
Knowing that we are responsible for our feelings and emotions does not mean we are never allowed to have reactions. Nor does it imply a resignation to accepting bad treatment or that the other party is completely without fault. It is true that at times we have all experienced others being unkind, deceitful… and having general yucky behaviour. Being responsible for our thoughts and feelings simply means you are the only one who can manage your feelings. It is not saying what another is doing is ‘ok’.
Now as an adult, I respond from a space of empowerment instead of a place of victimhood. I do this by allowing myself to experience and process each emotion in record time and then move through it.
You see… HOW LONG we stay stuck in the emotion is KEY.
Therefore, honouring your emotions, owning your emotions and going deeper into what that emotion means, helps us eventually be less reactive when someone “triggers” us.
When we understand ourselves, we have more compassion and empathy for others – simply understanding that others are coming from their own perspective of life, with their own unique collection of experiences which have encouraged them to behave in a certain way.
To begin the “SELF-RESPONSIBLE JOURNEY” we must be open and willing to personal growth, self-understanding and self-awareness. Then the next time you find yourself firing up inside, breaking apart or feeling disrespected… take the time to sit with yourself – WHERE IS THIS EMOTION COMING FROM?
Every emotion is based on the “thoughts” and “expectations” that we have about a person or situation. If you believe someone is trying to hurt you, is calling you names, labelling you… this in fact might be true. But if you know the truth of how worthy you are, you simply won’t accept this treatment.
Instead of fighting back, you have two other choices:
1 You can hear the message or learn the lesson that is being presented and consequently learn something about yourself
2 Set boundaries and no longer have these people or situations in your life.
Often the physical action of option 2 is not always immediately possible – sometimes we have to ride a situation through, however we can communicate with clear boundaries instead of “reacting”.
LOVE IS THE KEY
- War does not stop war
- Peace stops war
- Love stops war
- Understanding stops war
- Compassion stops war
When we react to others, we are having a war inside with ourselves. This is the time we really need to put self-love into practice. And if you are struggling with how to do that… then I suggest you treat yourself and your emotion as if you were a young child in pain – honour them, validate the person and give love. Simple. Only LOVE WILL HEAL THE PAIN deep inside. When we are constantly firing up, getting angry or feeling stressed and anxious… we have the choice to take a deep breath and ask ourselves: “WHAT ELSE COULD THIS MEAN?”
Turn every problem into a “project”. A project on the path of your self-love revolution – for you deserve the love of yourself more than anyone and in turn you will be the love you can then give to the world. The world needs more love and hugs… why not start with you?
Stop the blame, the criticism, the comparison, the judgment and just come back to kindness.
WHAT WOULD SOMEONE WHO LOVED THEMSELVES DO?
Remember hurt people, hurt people. When you are filled with inner love and happiness you are more resilient. So find that love and happiness within and start healing the world by healing yourself first.
If you’d like to learn some self-help tips on “How to journal to find that little story” that is causing you to trigger…. Join us on the next Siren Soul workshop.
Understanding yourself helps you understand others.