I like myself…
I make time for myself…
I’m not comparing myself to others…
But it wasn’t always like this…
For years I struggled. I felt unworthy, not good enough and definitely NOT comfortable in my own skin…
You see, a little while ago I was a 30 something year old, passionate and independent woman running my third business. It was a busy time and clients were happy. I ought to have been really pleased and proud, right? Yet, my focus was more on becoming super successful in the near future, so that I wouldn’t have to continue working so hard anymore. I looked forward to my dream life… one day.
I wanted to be able to build the business to a level where I could then chill out, and finally start enjoying my life. To start looking after my well-being, do stuff like; cook leisurely and sleep, oh my gawd, sleep please – as by this time I was on my tenth year as an insomniac!
The thing was, I was barely breaking even most weeks. I wasn’t charging my worth, therefore I wasn’t able to afford more help – it was a vicious cycle which meant my health was struggling, my head exploding and I was feeling really lonely.
With no money and very little assistance, I certainly was not chilling out, not happy and not enjoying my life – the vicious cycle continued…. my health declined – the pressure increased rapidly by the day.
I felt exhausted because I didn’t want to let my clients or staff down… so instead I let myself down.
I’d been running on adrenaline for 15 years by this stage. Although, no one actually knew. I was always on overdrive, out and about celebrating with clients and media – socialising, air kissing, ass-kissing and appearing regularly in the social pages….
Inside I was dying. My body was shutting down, my heart was let down and my bank balance was way, way, way down.
I was exhausted. I felt unlovable, unworthy, overwhelmed and riddled with anxiety.
I wasn’t happy and this definitely was not my dream life!
The problem was I was a perfectionist, a people pleaser… and I believed money was for greedy people AND that hard work was the only way to happiness “IN THE END”. At this time, I thought I simply had to, ‘suck it up!’
Which meant I felt stuck in a rut.
I thought I had no choice. I thought there was no other way through.
After all, I had no back up plan.
BUT THEN ONE CRAZY DAY… (which I may refer to now as a “divine intervention”)… I was sitting at my computer surrounded by a room full of press kits and interns frantically rushing to pull everything together on time for the next media release…. SUDDENLY, A FUSE BLEW…
not in the office electrical box… IN MY HEAD!!! – OMG, I literally blew out. Not in anger or any emotion at all – I just blew.
I lost cognitive function – I couldn’t read or focus.
That was it.
I BURNT OUT literally.
Burnout is not just being a little bit tired.
Nor can it be fixed or cured with a two week holiday.
It’s a TOTAL BLOW OUT.
TBH, I didn’t really know what happened – nothing made sense then and there.
And then, to make matters worse, had to leave my home and move in with my mother… at my age!!! 🙁
I was pulled to a VERY ABRUPT HALT.
Being the determined and independent woman that I am… I wasn’t taking “bed rest” well at all. I sat with my lap top in my bed determined not to give up – still “trying too hard”. Yet, I completely lost my voice for two whole weeks. I was not functioning. It was torture!
My drive was still deep inside, yet my body was not able to obliged. The mind was racing but cognitive function was lost.
I couldn’t think or read clearly and my body was weak.
I felt imprisoned.
In fact, I refused to accept what had happened for quite some time – which actually made it worse.
It took me 5 years to recover. By then, having been unable to work full time, I was up to my eye balls in credit card debt (in order to survive) and still single…
YET, something truly amazing took place in those years – especially the final two.
I got to know myself – my authentic self. Faced my shadows and embraced them too.
I slowed down to the speed of life, appreciated my days and made time for me. I pivoted my priorities…. little did I know this was what would make my dreams come true.
It was a life-changing journey of ‘trial and error’… through this experience, I fell into happiness, like really happy – a deep core happiness, self-acceptance and self-love… a cathartic letting go…
… and then my life started to BLOOM… IN PRECISELY THAT ORDER! I got happy and THEN doors began to open… whilst many old ones closed.
I became the new improved version of me.
I finally fully grasped my self-worth – AND NOW CHARGE FOR IT too! 😉
That’s when I realised the secret to living an awesome life is understanding your absolute life purpose… and knowing the secrets to being seriously happy…..without the “stuff” or waiting for my dream life to begin.
It was a hard out time of healing, I had even taken myself into isolation for months – this was well before the ‘COVID lockdown’ was a thing!!
It was hard!
BUT I learnt what worked and what didn’t.
Now I help clients who are struggling in life, feeling lost or lonely, with low self-esteem, seeking more happiness or fulfilment. I work with clients to bust through the blocks stopping them from living their dream life. I work energetically to shift sabotaging subconscious beliefs and teach tools and techniques to embrace and evolve in this journey we call LIFE. Together we get results in a much, much shorter time frame than I personally experienced – I was the greatest guinea pig!
Now I live every day doing what I want to do, when I want to do it, loving my career…. LIVING MY DREAM, right on purpose and so, so happy.
You can too.
Try out the FREE Siren Soul Self-Love Kickstart Challenge OR/
BOOK a ONE ON ONE Consultation today!
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