Who are you?
As strange as it sounds, us humans stuck in the rat race of life, have generally become so detached from our true self, that initially, it can be difficult to rediscover who this “authentic self” actually is.
For so long, many of us have sought happiness from the outside world or put our happiness in the hands of another.
Because when our happiness is determined by the actions of others, we set ourselves up for constant heartache. We literally give away our power.
When we make ourselves fully responsible for our own happiness, we have the ability to reach a deep true happiness from within and we can then choose to feel peace anytime, even in the midst of great turmoil! This does not mean we become immune to feelings and emotions – it simply means our reactions will come from a grounded space.
“Expectations” and “Assumptions” are the greatest contributors to unhappiness.
Once we know and understand ourselves, it becomes natural to act from a place of love and compassion.
When we come back to our truth, often the meaning of our life completely changes, as the process of expanding our consciousness means we start seeing life from a new perspective.
Things become more awesome and exciting as priorities change and light bulbs start going off within us. We more easily hear, see and feel the subtle messages from the Universe… gotta love those enlightening “aha” moments!
Life is so simple whilst simultaneously, being incredibly complex. When we really know and trust ourselves, things that once seemed so complex, hard, confusing and full of effort, suddenly become blissful and exciting as we go with the flow rather than resisting, and fighting for what the ego wants.
So, what can we do to rediscover our authentic self? And how do we stay grounded (most of the time)?
Practice deep honesty with yourself… Firstly with your thoughts and secondly with communication to others, by expressing feelings and emotions with deep honesty from your inner truth – without blame, criticism, judgment or comparison. This is true vulnerability. Sharing what is closest to your heart. Being open to “owning” your insecurities and blocks – we all have them – WE ARE HUMAN – so you’re ok 😉
In society, we are mostly programmed NOT to step into vulnerability, encouraged NOT to express emotion. There is some logic to this concept… However, it’s generally a little misunderstood. Honest vulnerability requires self-awareness and self-responsibility to “own” our emotions, rather than expressing from a “victim” mindset. So it’s not about blowing your top and saying what you really think… it’s about getting real with who you are and why you feel this way.
People are always going to do stuff to piss us off – BUT how much you let it affect you, is up to YOU.
Primary and Secondary emotions
This starts with recognising your primary emotion and your secondary emotion and then responding from the primary emotion without blame, criticism, judgment or comparison.
Primary emotion: Real emotion – the truth – the absolute trigger.
Secondary emotion: Knee jerk reaction (often puts the receiver into attack mode).
If you are speaking to someone who is not self-aware, they may still over-react. YOU can only do YOUR best to communicate from a grounded space.
Real emotion could be HURT, not feeling lovable, feeling insignificant.
To express your primary emotion practice using “I” statements, such as; “When you did……….. I felt………. because………”.
Practice developing the ability to pause, be with your emotion, with yourself, feel the truth. Avoid immediate over-reactions.
Also consider some human basics:
Am I tired?
Am I hungry?
Am I thirsty?
Do I need to use the bathroom?
ENERGETIC FUN FACT: When we clear emotional blocks, we change the chemistry in our body and we naturally start attracting new fresh energy. Woo hoo!
THE MAGIC OF VULNERABILITY
Being vulnerable in relationships also creates the opportunity for your friends or partner to be their best possible self within the relationship too.
When people share things close to their hearts they automatically develop a closer bond. It is an honour to receive ‘vulnerability’ from another – this also shows that enhanced respect and trust is present in this relationship.
EXERCISE: Initiation of Intimacy with Yourself
An easy exercise to check in with yourself.
Start with a ‘Purge onto Paper”
This can be a helpful when we are feeling ‘out of sorts’, when we have fallen out of balance or found ourselves stuck in the “rat race”.
Allow yourself to fully express what is going on for you right now. This is simply one big blah, blah, blah… a mental vomit onto paper.
How you are feeling? Is there something frustrating you? Is someone annoying you? Are you excited about upcoming events? Or do you have a new love interest? What is going on for you?
Take 10 minutes to hand write in a journal. This is your opportunity to dine out in your ego. GO!!!