Recently, the time had come to meet my mother’s new partner’s family…
My mother had spent weeks planning and preparing everything to perfection. It was a day of greetings, glorious food, gifts and wine – keeping our spirits oh so fine.
Everyone was on their best behaviour – friendly and open and all making an effort to show an interest in each other. At first, I was simply mixing, mingling and matching faces to all the names’ I had heard so many times over recent months.
As a single person, over the years I’ve often felt the need to make up for two people in social situations. Doing the rounds at double the speed and frequently being extra perky to reinforce my “I’m ok with being single at 40 something” status. And to be honest, I am, “ok”, that is, not discounting the fact I’d love to be swept off my feet by Prince Charming, I simply enjoy what I have, whilst being excited about my future.
And anyhow, I am fascinated by people, I’m social and I’m used to turning up at work events alone. Although, come to think of it, for the last few years I’ve been surrounded mostly by people with dysfunctional short term relationships, break-ups, singles, party goers and wanna-be socialites.
So here I was, at this ‘new’ family affair, making conversation… perhaps opening up a little too much about my “Sex in the City” antics of the night before… I figured ‘sharing is caring’ afterall… ANNND… it was about then that I had a stronger realisation and thought I’d better ‘zip it’ and find other topics to use as entertainment. As the contrast to my usual social surroundings suddenly struck me.
Here I was on this day hanging with these totally cool people, who on the surface seemed just like any of my other friends and acquaintances… they were even around the same age. Just with one vastly distinct difference to me – everyone was in a happy nuclear family with 2.5 kids and a dog – I’m not even kidding about the dogs!
Were these people in fact freaks? Was this the Universe rubbing salt in my wounds? Or was I finally been shown the relationship possibilities that do exist today? It occurred to me that I’ve never met so many people at one party who live as the traditional nuclear unbroken family, each with 20 plus years of marriage – who does that?! Do people actually still do that!?
I started to wonder… what could this one family know or do that allows for absolutely no separations or divorces in their entire extended family?! AND ALL BE BLISSFULLY HAPPY?!
Maybe it’s a location thing?… After all, I lived out of this town. I was immersed in the rat race city of hustle bustle, busy, busy – who’s the busiest??!! whoop!! I’ve been constantly surrounded by are people who just don’t stay in relationships – they don’t give them a chance – it’s all too easy to get out…
Suddenly my mind was thrown back to the basics… As I have learned over the years, it is best to surround yourself with people with the vibe that you want to have. Energy creates energy. If you want to be rich, hang out with rich people, share their motivation, their drive, their strategies, their lifestyle… Get comfortable feeling what it’s like to live like a rich person, make contacts with people who can lead you in the direction of your career dreams and other aspirations.
This got me to thinking, had I become so comfortable being surrounded my dysfunctional friends that I was actually silently sabotaging my own chance at the ideal happy relationship. Would a truly loving relationship actually freak me out? Why does the idea of it feel so foreign and weird? If I’m only attracting the energy I vibrate to then what the hell am I setting myself up for? Should I be making new friends and hanging out with happily married couples as a single gal – good God! – Can u imagine?!
And there it was – the simple and single realisation that happy couples are not something I resonate with. It feels so foreign and I’d rather drink wine with a single friend and moan about men. I even wondered, what does one even talk about once you’re in a happy relationship?
So there it is, YET ANOTHER SIGNIFICANT TURNING POINT IN MY LIFE… another answer to my prayers. Hang out in the vibe you want! Be IN the discomfort of the NEW! Aim to understand the discomfort and ride it through. For this is where you will find the blocks that you need to release in order to attract your actual match – be that love, money, health, happiness or whatever.
PS: Fill me in on a moment in your life when you saw a sign so clearly that you don’t know how you had been “missing the message” for so long.