When I first discovered self-love, I rolled my eyes at myself, thinking why had it taken me so long to work this stuff out?!
How many years had I wasted not liking myself and inhibiting myself from feeling more love, fun and confidence?!
I was almost angry… at myself, the world or someone else… Who could I blame for this?!
After all, I could go into victim mode and say it was my childhood at fault, blaming parents and other influential characters for the trauma and other disasters that had f*%#ed me up as an adult.
But seriously, how many adults do you know who have come through life unscathed? That is the human experience, right? – To know the highs and the lows… as they say, you have to know ‘hate’ to know ‘love’ and ‘sadness’ to know ‘happiness’ etc.
So here I was on this day – yip, I remember the day that the self-love penny dropped. It was post my big burnout and I had taken time out to practice a little “self-care” by going for a walk along the waterfront. Therefore, I was open to anything to feel better again.
It appears if we get out of our head, the aha moments happen. Exercise is a great way to manifest these aha moments. Although personally I highly recommend meditation and guided visualisation to get out of your head or to ignore your thoughts for a while. It’s not in the meditation that we usually experience these aha moments, it’s the other times of day… yet these “Ahas” appear more clearly and frequently because of these “stillness” moments.
Stillness gives humans a rest, allowing us to “re-group” in a subconscious way. Something I avoided doing for ten years, as I “tried so hard” to beat the Universal system (not intentionally, simply unknowingly), I did this by not going with the flow and instead trying to “force” everything to happen in order to achieve happiness from the outside world. Totally missing the point of co-creation and oblivious to the fact that true happiness actually comes from within.
I was completely ignoring the “journey” of life… oh goodness, in those days I actually hated the saying, “Life is about the journey, not the destination.” I was adamant that concept certainly was not for me! God damn it! I wanted to achieve, to succeed, to get to a plateau and finally be happy! Of course, as we get older we are more likely to realise peace is, in fact, in every step if we choose to have it – no matter what the circumstance. Peace or happiness is not a destination we eventually get to. It’s a mindset and in turn a vibration that we can feel (and rather quickly too, if we focus on what we want not what we don’t want).
Our minds seriously control our experiences, we simply are what we think we are… and are as happy and we think we ought to be under each and every situation we face.
For example, we are trained through life, to think that if we have no money we should be stressed about it. If someone dies it’s a time for deep grief. If we lose our job it’s a disaster! Although these examples may have justifiable elements seemingly worthy of stress, there is always another side to the card.
We don’t have to stress regarding money, the stress itself is certainly not going to change the amount of dollars. Obviously, it is still advisable to take action about creating money.
Likewise, it can be very sad when someone dies, yet it can also be a celebration of life. And depending on your culture, death is processed differently.
Losing a job is so often a blessing in disguise, as doors open to new opportunities or other life lessons are learnt whilst outside of the comfort zone.
We are what we think and we think based on the programming we learn as we grow up and then we continue to have experiences which mould our thoughts.
But what is a thought? It’s merely imagination or opinion. Therefore, if thoughts create our reality, can we seriously change our life with imagination? Sounds a bit childish, doesn’t it?
Perhaps. Yet, the power of our mind is magnificent and rather unbelievable.
If you have been imagining yourself as unworthy, not enough, too fat, too thin, too busy…. Change that thought!
I’m gutted I spent my “skinny” years thinking I was fat! What a waste of awesome life! Of course it goes far deeper than just the superficial stuff. Self-love means ditching all the unworthy, negative, fearful labels we dine out on in our mind… all the stories we create and live out as our reality. These stories and other “false truths” are what really do the damage to our level of health and happiness.
However, if I could tell myself that I was too fat to be loved and believe it so strongly for all those years that it actually become my “truth”… Could I in fact, tell myself that I am perfect just the way I am, knowing that all my so-called imperfections were what actually make me, uniquely me. Reprogramming the fact that I am worth it because I am, just because I am… then how would that change my life experience?
- Not caring what others think.
- Knowing I’m going to be judged, no matter what (that’s what people do in our society). Therefore, I may as well be judged for being me, rather than trying to be someone who I “think” I “should” be.
Anyhow, the world would be a pretty boring place if everyone was the same!
The truth is all this bullshit and shame has caused so much unhappiness.
It’s time to remember who we are.
You are loveable, worthy and capable of a whole lot more than you give yourself credit for.
Stop worrying. Stop making excuses. Stop playing “victim”. Take responsibility and be the best YOU that you can be and feel the love, confidence and empowerment from within.
Welcome home Siren Soul Sister.
If you’re ready to take a deeper look at yourself and how you may be holding yourself back from being your personal best, then join us at the Siren Soul Space course: “Deepening Intimacy with Yourself”: Click here for when the next course starts!
If you’d like to do this course in a location near you, please comment below… xo
Read what people are saying about this course:
“I loved everything about this course… except for the days I missed! ❤️” Tessa, Hamilton
“Over the six weeks I have definitely felt lighter, more connected to myself and less strung out about things. I have more of a contemplative mind and open to viewing things differently.” Nicola, Hamilton
“When I decided to come along, at my friend’s suggestion, I thought it might all be a little bit airy-fairy and over my head. It’s the kind of thing I would never have considered on my own. BUT, I actually found it incredibly helpful.”
“I was hoping to get more self-confidence out of this course and I definitely achieved that!” Cathy, Hamilton
“If I was describing this course (“Deepening Intimacy with Yourself”) to a friend I would say; You’ll learn new and old things about yourself and possible ways that you have created or enabled drama in your life. Week by week layers will be lifted away to reveal a more confident YOU, with a deeper understanding of how you ‘tick’. I would totally recommend this to a friend.” Nic, Hamilton
“My favourite things about this course was connecting better with myself and my body and also connecting with other like-minded souls.” Laura, Hamilton